Wisdom Nuggets from Joyce’s Years of Interacting with Students and their Teachers and Families

Dad’s Role In The Home and Homeschool

Sun, 1 Jan 2012 13:53:07 -0500

Dad, do you know the importance of your role in the home and family?   God has put you in a very unique and special position to your family. He has a job for you to do and it has little to do with how you earn money, where you spend your work-day, or what your personality is like. It is a job you fulfill with little or no effort until your child is about seven years of age. The role of the father in the spiritual development of a child cannot be stressed too much. You are crucial to how your offspring perceive God!   When your babies are small, you have a natural awe. You are bigger, your voice is deeper; you are not around as much as "momma," and you have a more aggressive way which is easily interpreted as a stronger authority. God designed these features into a man for a reason. To that small child you represent God and His authority. You can’t help it. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. You don’t have to plan for it. You can’t do anything to destroy it…. until they are seven or so – and after that you’ll have to earn the respect and authority which you hold so naturally to the young.   As the child grows, your physical stature becomes much less important. He gets to know the real you, for he sees you in all your moods: when you are strong and when you are tired, when you are happy and when you are angry, when you are right and when you are wrong. Whether you ever talk to him about God or not, he’s figured out you are not perfect and you are not God. He has an innate sense that there is a perfection that neither he nor anyone in his family matches up to and that perfection is God. If he hears about God and learns about Him through others and the teaching of the Scriptures, he will easily transfer this natural understanding to the "Real Thing," and his spiritual growth will match the growth in his physical body, his emotional stability, and his mental achievements. If he does not, His spiritual growth not only takes a back seat, it may atrophy; if that happens, it will be difficult for him later in life to reach an understanding of Who God is and, therefore, of his own role in life.   If your children are small, please surround them with people who know and love God! Search out the Truth and become their teacher, even if you are learning yourself.  You may wonder what happens as the child matures. As he realizes your imperfections, and his own, he still has a sense that there is a source of Perfection – a God – a Being stronger and more reliable… and more loving, than anyone he knows. He has a built in need to worship, to adore, to respect. He searches diligently for the Source of Love, Truth and Power. He checks out every source that comes into his life: the people, the words, the stories, even the world and the weather. He checks everything against his built-in understanding that there is Perfection if only he can find it. And, especially at first, he looks to you, Dad to deliver that information. He looks to you to learn about God.   Whether you fulfill God’s call as your child’s teacher about God or not is up to you, but his life will be much easier if you do. No one else can do it as readily or as thoroughly. Find out about God. Find people who know Him. Spend time with them. Pass on what you learn. Read the Bible and Bible stories to your little one, even if you are learning from them as you read! Find a church where the preaching and teaching are Bible-based (if you can go through a day’s services without being asked to open your Bible and see for yourself, run!) Take him, don’t send him to such a church. God will use others in his life, but the day will come when you will stand before Him, ultimately and finally responsible for what your children learned – or, indeed, whether they learned, about God.  After the child reaches the age of seven or so, you will have to earn the respect which was so naturally yours when he was smaller. It is not as difficult as you may think, but it will cause you to lean ever more strongly on your own Father God. There are two keys, I believe, which make or break your relationship with your blossoming child: Time and tenderness. You can still be the authority, but it must be tempered with a gentleness born of deep devotion and the recognition that there is a Stronger Authority and a Deeper Source of Love and Truth. And it will now take more time as you teach and train and lead the spiritual development of your family – not because you know more, but because you share more and lead the child to others, and especially to God through prayer.  Your role with your wife teaches your children who a man is and how a woman should be treated, what a family is, and what their own future role will be.   Your role with your sons shows them what a man is to be. How you treat your wife, shows him how to treat a woman. How you treat a son tells him how to treat a male (father/son/friend). How he sees you relate to God teaches him more about you, about God, and about himself than we will ever understand this side of heaven.  Your role with your daughters trains them in how to expect a "boy friend’ or ultimately a husband, to treat them. They learn from you whether they should be respected or used, a slave or person, a partner or a servant.   But above all, the basis of your relationship to everyone in your life is to teach them Who God is and What He is like. Awesome? Yes. Impossible? No, but you cannot do it on your own strength; you must depend on your own Heavenly Father and grow ever stronger in your relationship with Him through the Scriptures, fellowship with other believers, and deep and honest prayer times. Our homes are being destroyed today by men who don’t have a clue what their role is – probably because their father did not live out what God called him to be. It is my prayer that you will be able to change this in one family – yours.

God’s Design

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 01:01:58 -0400

Are you looking to plant God’s design into your children? When you read ANYTHING with them - from the Bible to Sunday School materials to a "for fun" book, bring out in your questions and commentary the differences between people - who they are, how they act...

When milk spills, one will say, "I'm sorry that spilled. It's okay."
Another will say, "Here let me clean it up." Another will say, "What happened? Was it too close to your elbow? Let's change that..."
Still another may just jump up and get a rag while another has her arm around the offending child hugging and comforting - both without words at all.

Each is exhibiting his God-given gift or passion (or both).

ALL are OKAY! ALL are GOOD! None is bad because he didn't see the situation in the same way as the other... God designed each one for a specific place in HIS WORLD and our children (and ourselves!) are in constant preparation and training for that ETERNAL home we aspire to. This concept needs to become as natural as breathing - to us as home leaders and to our children.

If one sibling learns easily and can’t understand his sibling’s struggle, have a conversation with him that goes something like this: “Do you think that up in heaven before (name of sibling) came to us that he asked to have these problems learning? Did you ever think that perhaps he had a conversation with God and said, ‘It’s okay. Give me the problems. Just let my (brother/sister) not have them, too. Make him as perfect as I’d like to be. I’ll do it for him… and for you, God.’” Teach a spirit of gratitude and acceptance… and a willingness to help when it is needed but not to jump in and keep the sibling from having a chance to try on his own!

It is impossible to keep your children from situations where they will unfavorably compare themselves with others - younger, older, whatever... It is more important to teach each of them to compare him/herself only with him/herself and God's standard - Jesus. Are we making progress toward being more Christlike? Are we making academic progress? Are we doing better today than we were a month ago? A year ago? Those are the standards we need to keep before ourselves... that is why I encourage charting progress - then we can SEE our progress and compare ourselves with our past rather than another's performance.
And remember, this is a lesson for us as adults, too! Do not compare your homeschool, children, husband, home and so forth to others’. God treats us individually. He does not gang us together and give us all a broken arm, a 1000 square foot home, or 6 pairs of new shoes! Make sure your relationship with God is on solid footing so you can guide your family.

What Would Homeschool Look  Like at Your House, Joyce?

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 01:25:50 -0400

I do not primarily educate through texts... I “test” group after group of homeschool parents and virtually none of them seek out a text and use it in the traditional way (read the chapter, answer the questions, take the test, move on to the next chapter) when they want to learn something new; how about you? Most people do internet searches, check out “real books,” ask friends, take a hands-on class, or just get started and continue until they hit a snag and then do the aforementioned things…

I prefer a more eclectic approach to education, individually adapted as needed according to the child’s interests, passions, skills, learning ability and learning style preferences We learn through life, real books, teach what they're ready for, and use a unique unit study approach built on good teaching methods. We plan to lightly introduce and investigate many topics while developing important skills in reading, writing, ciphering, organizing, thinking and researching.

My idea of "school" is to have a K-1st grade done with formal "school" in 1 to 1 1/2 hrs. 2-3 grade 2 to 2 1/2 hrs. 4-6 in 3 to 4 hours. (I've not worked beyond that, but I think at junior high and high school it depends a lot on the style of teaching, the learning level of the student, etc... some senior-highers can finish formal classes in 1/2 day and go on to career/job related "school." Others need MUCH MORE TIME TO polish skills that were not mastered earlier.

As for schedule... Here are some ideas for you:

Do something with toddlers directly every hour or two: start with them; they’re called toddlers because they’ll toddle away after they’ve had a few minutes of attention. Assign an older child to do “something” with a toddler as part of his school; a five-year-old can include him in “recess,” a nine-year-old can read to him, an older child can actually be involved in the toddler’s education with simple tools like “Toddler School in a Box” and/or Including Very Young Learners in the Homeschool” (both mini books I’ve written).

Try to schedule each child for ½ hour or more of individual time while the others are otherwise involved (seatwork, recess, naps, independent study, etc.) With each child, start with what needs the most attention - depending on child/age, etc... may be math or teaching reading skills. Do the most difficult subjects when your child is at his best - for most kids between breakfast and lunch - but for older teens it may be after dinner and before bed!

Sandwich a hard subject between two easier ones - one that requires writing between two that do not - something the child likes between the things he doesn't - an active one between two sedentary ones... That can be a TALL order, but if you can do it, it really helps.

Again what you do on any given day or what you do every day depends on age and skill level of the children involved... In general, every child should do some reading (or instruction therein), some writing, and some math every day. Other topical subjects (like science, history, geography, literature, health) can be done in bulk groups - a week (month, semester, year) concentrating on history (tying in geography where it fits) followed by the same time on science (tying in health where you can )perhaps followed by the same time on literature and biographies... Written assignments (like essays and research papers) can be tied to whatever subject the child is excited about or what the field of concentration. You do NOT need to try to do “all subjects” every day in 50 minute segments like the public school – what an artificial way to “teach!”

Above all, remember to treat your children as if they are people, for they are! Treat them as if they are cherished just for being who they are! Treat them as if they are your spiritual brothers and sisters in Christ, beloved of God with a mighty future ahead of them! They are less than perfect; so are we! They are adults in the making. They are treasures in your care for a time. Treat today as if it were your last day with them.

Use and Importance of  Biographies in Young Lives

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 21:37:53 -0500

Preface to the book: A First Book in American History
Author Edward Eggleston
Published in 1889 by D. Appleton and Company

PREFACE: IN PREPARING A FIRST BOOK OF American History, it is necessary to keep in mind the two purposes such a work is required to serve. There are children whose school-life is brief; these must get all the instruction they are to receive in their country’s history from a book of the grade of this. To another class of pupils the first book of American history is a preparation for the intelligent study of a textbook more advanced. It is a manifest waste of time and energy to require those to learn in a lower class the facts that must be restudied in a higher grade. Moreover, primary histories which follow the oreder of larger books are likely to prove dry and unsatisfactory condensations. But a beginner’s book ought before al things else to be interesting. A fact received with th attention raised to its highest power remains fixed in the memory; that which is learned listlessly is lost easily, and a life-long aversion to history is often the main result produced by the use of an unsuitable textbook at the outset.

The main peculiarity of the present book is that it aims to teach children the history of the country by making them acquainted with some of the most illustrious actors in it. A child is interested, above all, in persons. Biography is for him the natural door into history. The order of events in a nation’s life is somewhat above the reach of younger pupils, but the course of a human life and the personal achievements of an individual are intelligible and delightful. In teaching younger pupils by means of biography, which is the very alphabet of history, we are following a sound principle often forgotten, that primary education should be pursued along the line of the least resistance. Moreover, nothing is more important to the young American than an acquaintance with the careers of the great men of his country.
The superiority of works of history in our time over those of other ages lies in the attention given to the development of the life of the people as distinguished from the mere recital of public events. The biographical method here adopted offers a great advantage, bu giving the younger pupil interesting glimpses of life in other times by means of personal anecdote. the usages of European courts, the dwellings and arts of the Indians, the struggles of pioneers in the wilderness, the customs of the inmates of frontier houses, the desolations of the early wars with the savages, the home-spinning and other domestic handicrafts, the stately manners and ostentatious dress of our forefathers, and many other obsolete phases of life, are vividly suggested to the pupil’s mind not by dry didactic statements, but in unforgettable stories of real people. This line of instruction is much furthered by the running comment of the accompanying illustrations.

It has often been lamented that no adequate provision is made in a school course for teaching the principles of morality. But the teaching of abstract principles is generally unavailing to produce good conduct. In the preparation of the present work I have been surprised to find how abundant are the materials for moral instruction by example in the careers of our great men. The perseverance of Columbus, of Hudson, and of Morse, the fortitude of John Smith, of Standish, and of Boone, can not but excite the courage of those who read the narratives of their lives. No intelligent pupil will follow the story of Franklin’s industrious pursuit of knowledge under difficulty without a quickening of his own aspirations. What life could teach resolute patience, truth-telling, manly honor, and disinterested public spirit better than that of Washington? And where will a poor lad struggling with poverty find more encouragement to strictest honesty, to diligent study, and to simplicity of character than in the history of Lincoln? It would be a pity for a country with such examples in her history not to use them for the moral training of the young. The faults as well as the virtues of the persons whose lives are told here will afford the teacher opportunities to encourage right moral judgments.

A note from Joyce Herzog:

As a child I devoured biographies. I loved the ones that took the famous people from the age of a child and showed them as real people making mistakes and just being children… but later making decisions that made them great. I know those years of soaking in the stories of famous Americans guided my path. It helped me to realize that I might be a child, but I would not always be one… and I could decide and do ‘something’ that would be great – that would be ‘ME.’ I also decided to give my life and my will to the Heavenly Father.

I remember a visit to a rural area of southern Indiana that also affected my thinking about life. We were walking along and I saw an abandoned farm. The house was gone, but the steps that led to where the door had been were still there… and it was lined with bountiful beautiful masses of daffodils. I found an ancient toy iron car. I thought about this place for years… and remembered the joy of seeing the daffodils which seemed to me a memorial to some lady who had lived there. She must have loved beauty; she nurtured life; she laughed and cried; she moved on, but she left a memorial. The daffodils she had planted still grew and multiplied and brought joy to everyone who passed by. I determined then to leave ‘something’ that would let people know that someone had lived and loved and cared and planted something for the future. Everywhere I’ve lived, I’ve planted daffodils and many other flowers that will keep reseeding year after year. And I’ve used words as another way to reach the future and many people I’ll never meet.

Now, some five plus decades later, I have done something with my life. Others learn from me and I am still learning from watching and befriending real people and reading inspiring biographies of people of our past.

Fill your children’s lives with examples of fine and moral people. Read biographies to them. Invite them into your home for meals. Tell their stories as you cuddle on the couch. Remember, you are planting the future!

Much love to you and yours! Joyce

Preparing Young Learners

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 23:45:22 -0500

Our toddlers and "preschoolers" are an indangered species! Pre-schoolers used to mean just that, children who were not old enough for formal education. Now, even some infants are ushered into formal settings and toddlers and tots are open game for inclusion in our hungry public school systems. That frightens me. Children, especially up to age seven, need to be in a warm nourishing environment surrounded by people who do not change from day to day - or worse, from hour to hour. But, I am just as concerned about what is - or isn't - happening with some of those little ones who are at home. Some well-meaning parents, over-whelmed and over-busy, leave the little ones on their own for hours at a time unless they are in trouble, screaming, or "too quiet." They abruptly discover that little ones who spend three to four years quietly supervising themselves are not really anxious to be dragged into hours of regulated learning when they turn five or six. It is better to include them in small doses in activities they are developmentally ready for.

It's so great to have the last generation to blame all this on. Why didn't they teach today's parents how to be parents? Oh, oh. I'd better be careful. I'm treading on thin ice there. I am yesterday's generation that I am throwing the blame on. Hmmm...Maybe it's time we start giving some help instead of blaming! Here are some ideas to get you started developing your young children into people who love learning and have the confidence to try and the discipline to stick with a task through the difficult times.

Whenever possible, include the young ones in whatever you are doing. When you cook, let them spread or give them a container and a spoon with some batter. When cleaning, give them a dustrag or miniature broom. In the garden, give them a hand shovel, a bucket of soil, and a few seeds. When you fold laundry, teach them to fold washclothes, napkins, and undies. They like being close to you and enjoy being a part of whatever you are doing. Be aware that little ones catch more than you ever thought possible. They may be playing and apparently ignoring you completely, but they are hearing and learning. When you are going about household tasks, they notice attitudes. They learn to be disgusted, tired, sporadic workers - or cheerful and diligent at work and play. If you are teaching older ones at home, they are also catching attitudes about learning - whether it is important, real, fun, exciting, interesting...or boring, hateful, and tense.

Realize that many small children (and some older ones) cannot "sit and listen." Either takes all their attention. When it is time to listen, allow them color or draw or play with puzzles, blocks, dolls, or books. Encourage other quiet activities. When they must really sit still, give them something to manipulate with their hands: a strong latex balloon filled with flour or rice, sports exercise putty or clay, any finger or hand exercise toy (check with medical suppliers for exercisers meant for people with arthritis), a doll or rubber bendable figure. If their hands have something to do, it frees their mind to listen. Food to nibble on or gum to chew is another option. Save gum or suck candy for the listening times. Then, when you call them to listen, say, "It is time to listen. You may have your gum while you listen to this story." Suddenly they will be eager to come and listen!

These little ones can do many learning activities independently. Every child is ready to learn something. We must discover what each is ready for and provide materials to make it possible. Young children may stack or line up in a row blocks or dominoes, drive cars on a printed road, dress and undress dolls, sort buttons, toys, or other small objects, pour and fill containers (developing small muscle coordination). They may match, sort, count, build, put away, or categorize (building coordination and thinking skills). These activities may be related to learning counting, numerals, alphabet, alphabetical order, colors, animal names, animal babies, foods and categorizing (like fruit/vegetable, liquids/solids, tall/short, and so on). Provide opportunity to listen to stories and books, run, play ball, and exercise on bikes, swings, and other equipment.

You can make some simple learning materials which your young children will enjoy and use over and over. Here are some ideas to get you started: A simple file folder can become a sorting table. Buy a bag of inexpensive zoo animals and one of farm animals (or supply pens and pencils, buttons and milk caps, round and square blocks, red and green buttons, etc.). Lay the folder open and have the child sort the objects onto the two sides of the folder. You may want to (or have one of your older children) draw a complimentary scene on each side of the folder (zoo and farm, round and square figures, etc.) to make the game more interesting. Keep the pieces in a reclosable plastic bag taped to the folder.

Purchase simple paint-by-water books, coloring books, and dot-to-dot books for the child's independent play. Encourage him to trace the pictures or look at a book and draw a picture of his favorite part. He may like to have a collection of rocks, buttons, marbles, or pogs for sorting and counting. A muffin tin is great for sorting jobs - or the dollar store have a nice relish tray. Etch-A-Sketch™ is a good, quiet toy and the new travel sizes are great for purse and car. Magnetic or peel-and-stick letters are great for long minutes of absorbed play. Another product you may not know about is called Stikki Wikki's. Children love these bright colored reusable flexible wax-coated strings which can be twisted and reshaped into letters, designs or objects.

You do not have to spend a lot of money on games for children. Collect milk caps. Use stickers to make sets for sorting. Keep a large container of rice, dried coffee grounds, or bird seed with different sizes and shapes of smaller containers to fill and pour from. Collect a set of thick and thin or short and long twigs. Have a middle standard for the child to compare the others to. Paint it a bright color to make it stand out from the others. If you like the children to use dice for counting or adding, but don't like the noise, here is an idea for you. The next time you get something packed in sheets of Styrofoam™, use a very sharp knife to cut it into squares as big as it is thick - forming cubes. Print numerals or dots on these to make a set of very quiet dice. If you provide several, the children can use them to create their own math problems. Or try printing letters on the blocks and have the children spell words with them. The possibilities are endless.

Dressing dolls, sorting books or toys, dominoes, and puzzles are good quiet activities. So are pouring and measuring grains, building with blocks or construction toys, screwing caps onto bottles or nuts onto bolts, using a snap-back tape measure, listening to an audio tape with a headset, filling jars with cotton balls, cotton swabs, or clothespins. Use your imagination! The more the job can be like the real work, the better the long term benefit.

I can't leave the topic of young children without a word of caution. Years ago young children crawled and played and naturally developed visual perception and skills which were useful for their futures. Today too many children spend hours of their formative years in front of a screen - television, computers and computerized games. Their eyes do not develop the kind of perception needed in real life. Their hands do not coordinate well. They are unprepared for real-life relationships. Because the screen in front of them changes so often, they do not develop a strong attention span. When they are old enough for school tasks, they are not developmentally ready. They are labeled attention deficit, learning disabled, developmentally disabled...The list goes on and on. This is not the only cause of the problem, but I do believe it is an important factor in the huge increase of children who do not succeed in school tasks. Please, limit and supervise your child's time in these artificial worlds!

What specific activities you provide for your child to do is not nearly as important as making him feel included and important in your world and exposing him to a wide variety of learning experiences. He will develop skills as he has fun right at your feet and you are getting him ready to be a willing learner and worker as an adult.

This is a start. I wrote a little booklet called Including Young Learners in Your Homeschool. It is a small book crammed full of more ideas. Check out our web site Products section for many more helpful materials: www.joyceherzog.com