First Learning Hint: Raising a Son - Page 2

By Joyce Herzog Copyright 2006

Sons want to please, they really desire to learn - but they learn by touching and testing and tossing and tasting and talking and taking apart. They learn by interaction with real things that break and fall get dirty and come apart. Sons learn by imitation and trial and error. If they are constantly cautioned and kept from experimenting, they can't learn as well or as quickly. "That won't work." "No, don't do it that way." "Give it to me; I can do it better (or faster, or for you, or without so much mess)." "Don't make a mess!" Cautions such as these are meant to help, but they tend to cripple and smother boys.

Boys would be better helped with phrases like this: "Try it out, son, see if it works." "That's an interesting idea (theory, plan); let me know how it comes out." "I'd never have thought of doing it that way. How clever you are. Test out your idea and show me the results." These phrases keep the communication lines open. They allow the boy to experiment, discover, admit when things don't work out. If you have invited them to share the results and left open the channels of communication, you will have the wonderful opportunity of teaching some other skills when the project is finished or aborted: evaluating and verbalizing both the process and results and cleaning up the mess!